Chernozem’s theory of Forgiveness
    الجمعة 18 أغسطس / آب 2023 - 09:38
    روان الفرطوسي
    Heavy rain poured on my window
    In a sky that was dark
    During a sunset
    What was left from you
    A mark

    A heart that I wanted to borrow
    Left with miserable sorrow
    It’s my head, that I didn’t follow

    No matter how I try to draw 
    the distance between us
    My heart, it’s to thaw
    Feels so ridiculous
    My feelings on a seesaw
    A fight of
    Minus and plus 

    I’ve been living
    All of my life
    Drinking everyone’s waste
    Acting like
    A sweetie wife
    Wishing for my days
    To end in haste

    The words you said
    They were really vain
    It was obvious, but I lied to myself
    To escape
    The anguishing pain
    You did too as well, to yourself

    My emptiest of days
    I filled them 
    In the most dull of the ways
    Until my heart started to
    Turn into "black soil”

    You can't live without me
    Right?
    You’ve been in so much pain
    Isn’t that so?
    That was what you said
    That night
    "I’m just so sorry to let you go…”

    I’ve held my tears 
    For too much
    Not only that night
    But a bunch
    And let it all out in a way
    That "fertilized” the ones around 

    And when the day comes
    Loneliness cover me
    From head to toe
    I would be calling for you
    Crying for help
    For you to come
    Won’t you be able to see?
    That I still want you to be
    With me 

    What if you didn't come?
    My door
    An open place will be
    Unless it’s not you

    And when I tried to put forgiveness
    In between me and you
    Turns out
    I’ve already forgiven you
    But what is it
    That I really cannot do
    Is to forget what you did do so
    Is to forget you 

    A sweet breeze is
    What came after the rain
    When the moon was almost out 
    I figured it out
    We cannot forget the ones who hurt us
    The ones who made our days seem grievous
    We just get
    Bored of their pain
    And fulfill
    Their empty place
    With "humus” and "phosphorus”

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